暖气机 Heater

在听见暖气到来之前，先闻到暖气的气味。

已经有两个晚上没有开暖气了，虽然从天气预报来看春天还在冬季的边缘摇摆不定，但还是想着要在稳定地不再需要暖气机的日子到来前将几天前写下“暖气机”标题的备忘录写完。

公寓卧室里的暖气已经有些岁数了，开关处的操作指示还是打印在纸张上用胶水粘在一侧的，纸张已经是不同程度的泛黄和脆化了。控制面板上一共是右侧的五个按键和左侧的一个旋转按钮，五个按键对应五种工作状态，从上往下依次是白的、红的、浅蓝的、深蓝的、黑色的。”All Year Comfort - Yours at a Touch,” 平易近人的标语。该有的功能倒是一个没少，只是不像新一代的电动暖气机那样还带着一个精确调节温度的液晶显示屏。刚开始用上这个机子的两三周，我还会聚精凝神地缓慢调节这个根本没有数字刻度的控制扭（其实也不是完全没有“刻度”，只是刻度的标准过于暧昧了。扭到最左边是一个红色字的“warmer”，反方向的尽头是一个蓝色字的“cooler”），生怕稍有偏差便会影响到接下来一晚的室内温度。再后来，我调节他的态度也学着像它的标识一样含糊了；反正开暖气的日子扭到左半边，开冷气的日子扭到右半边，至于这个控制扭指向具体的哪个角度是完全用不着操心的。

因为机子岁数大了，我在使用它的第一个冬季没少遇上困难。一开始的几个气温骤降的晚上，我其实还没有意识到它在制暖的时候有了故障。作为一个第一次正式使用有暖气片的整机暖气的南方人，我在暖气机修理完成的那一刻才知道正常的暖气运作应该是个怎样的状态。于是就有了好几个我以为暖气在运作因为暖气片在发热但其实因为出风装置早已出现故障无法出风所以这个大机子就以一个离我的床边五米远的距离作为一个无法将热量分布到除了它自己以外的空间发热体出现。我裹着两层棉被在床上蜷缩着感叹着北方人冬天的不容易，隔天早上穿着毛衣在厨房遇上穿着短袖短裤脸蛋红彤彤的室友，才意识到可能有什么出错了。

让我来描述一下暖气机启动的过程：按下开关的塑料键后，先是听到一阵突然缩紧又放松下来的水流声流过某一条（或许是笔直的，或许是弯曲的）金属管道；大约五秒钟的间隙后，风机引擎的叶片开始顺时针转动并发出大约六次间隔一秒钟的、听起来并不顺畅的敲击声。接下来就是祈祷暖气的气味如期到来的时候了。干燥的、热腾腾、粉尘、令人安心的。在听见暖气到来之前，总是先闻到暖气的气味。

和稍微老旧的暖气机相处需要保持一定的乐观和平和。如果在刚刚的操作和祈祷后的五分钟，暖气机又恢复到了冰冷的平静，那么，就再重复这些步骤一次吧。

Before hearing the heating running, I smelled it. 

The heater had not been on for two nights and although spring was just around the corner according to the weather forecast, I decided to wrap up the memo I had started a few days ago under the heading "Heater" before it was no longer needed. 

The heater in my apartment bedroom was a bit old, and the operating instructions were printed on paper and glued to one side of the switch, the paper being yellow and brittle to varying degrees. The control panel has five buttons on the right side and a rotary button on the left. From top to bottom, the five buttons are white, red, light blue, dark blue, and black, corresponding to five operating states, and accompanied with a simple slogan: "All Year Comfort - Yours at a Touch." The heater has plenty of functions, but not as many as the new generation of electric heaters with LCDs for precise temperature control. During the first two or three weeks of using this heater, I focused on slowly adjusting the rotary button, which had no digital scale at all (in fact, it does have a scale, but it is ambiguous. To the left of the scale is a "warmer" in red, and to the right is a "cooler" in blue), out of concern that a slight deviation might affect the room temperature. Later, I learned to be as ambiguous as the scale. For hot air, I turned the button to the left, and for cold air, I turned it to the right. It does not matter at which degree the button is twisted.

My first winter with it was a struggle due to the machine being old. I was not aware that the heater was malfunctioning the first few nights when the temperature dropped. In my experience as a person from the south using a heater for the first time, I had no idea how heaters work until mine was repaired. There were some instances where I thought the heater was working because the heaters were generating heat, but the wind-casing had already failed, rendering the machine as a heat generator that could not distribute heat beyond its own space at a distance of five meters from my bed. In bed with two layers of quilts, I sighed at how difficult it must be for Northerners to spend the winter. My roommate showed up in the kitchen wearing a t-shirt and shorts with red cheeks the following morning, and I realized that something might have gone wrong.

Let me describe the process of starting the heater: After pressing the plastic switch button, you hear a sudden contracted then relaxed sound of water flowing through one of the (perhaps straight, perhaps curved) metal pipes; about five seconds later, the blades of the blower motor begin to turn clockwise and make about six unpleasant taps that are about one second apart. It is then time to pray for the smell of heat to appear as expected. The dry, hot, dusty, and reassuring smell. I always smelled the heating before hearing it. 

Keeping calm and optimistic when dealing with an old heater is essential. If the heater returns to a serene and cold state five minutes after what you just did and prayed, repeat these steps once again.